Hello Rachel. I thought I would send you a message using this forum. I have no idea if you will ever want to or be able to read it but I write this especially for you.
First, I agree that you had every right to "divorce" me, based soley on my performance as a father. Only a drug dealer, bank bandit or serial killer, could have been a worse father. I agree that you had the right to make that decision and I sincerely hope and wish that distancing yourself from me has made you happy or at least, happier than you would have been had I remained in your life these some 15 years or so.
Your aunts (my sisters) have kept any information regarding how I could find you, from me I assume, at your request. Caren did send me a picture of the folks gathered at Dan's wedding, years ago and the web site where I could view all the pictures from the wedding. Your grandmother Cline and Bonnie looked great.
I don't have much to say about me. Lynne and I remain married, very happily. I am still (and always) a Cleveland Browns and Indians fan and a follower of Ohio State football and basketball. Saturdays and Sundays, during Autumn and early Winter, you can find Lynne and I watching our favorite teams (hers are the Arkansas Razorbacks and Denver Broncos/Rockiies). I am FINALLY proud of the current Browns team, they are the kind of team a native Clevelander loves.
I am in current excellent health. Work out every day on the weights, stationary bike and bike our local "Lake" when possible. I have some health challenges, which attend advanced age, the most significant of which is a defribulator/pacemaker, implanted just above my heart. In 2003, while working out, my heart began racing and wouldn't slow back to it's normal rate. That's what lead to the defrib being installed.
3 years ago, something went "haywire" with the device and I was shocked 62 times, before they were able to control it. 2 nights later, while in the hospital, the defribulator activated exactly 20 times, again before the hospital (St. Mary Corwin, by the way) caught up with it. t Felt like I was in the boxing ring with Mohammed Ali, with no hands/arms. These incidents were the subject of yet another surgery to correct the problem and I have grown well and much stronger, since.
I don't know what to say about our "estrangement" from my end except, I never really understood why. I know (from what Caren and Jo said) that you think I should/do know but, beyond being a horses-patute as a father, I never figured it out. That's OK, again if you've been happier, since.
In the off-chance that, someday, you might want to find "Walter Wayne Hopewell," I'm going to publish a bibleography on my blog of the books I have read, that have affected me and completely changed my life. Additionally, just in case (again) I will "box" these books for you, should you ever want to go through them. What I can't do well, is share my experiences over these "vacant" years, ones that also led to my dramatic life turn around.
So, when I pass, just in case, you'll know where to find me, should the notion ever stike you. I'll be in those books. I don't know if anyone who is a friend of mine now, would be willing to share anything they know of me, after I pass. I don't know that they would refuse to share, if you wanted but I don't know if they would, either. The folks that know me well now have all (at various times) expressed the inability to understand why you and I don't have a relationship. The reason for that, I think, is they don't think like our family, which is how I used to think, also. My friends don't think that way and now, neither do I. But I remember,
Love to you, Joe, Dan and Megan, Always. Every day I think of you and Jim and send you both all the Laughter, Joy and Happiness I have (which is so great, there is no measurment big enough to say), wherever both of you are. I have experienced day and night (sleep) dreams of Jim, my Dad and I, together, walking up a hill. VERY realistic.
Dad (Walter Wayne Hopewell)
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